It all boils here

So yesterday was the International Men Day and I sat down to think why I was having that feeling of a man. Yes I wasnt feeling it , despite the cheers from colleague,family and friends, like my whole status on Facebook and Whatsapp was filled with all of the wishing and advices to me, telling them to be strong and you know the rest.

The truth is I was not feeling anything , i decided to sit down today to try and understand why i wasnt feeling like a man. Hold on here, this will interest you.

In the part of the world where I come from, men are asked and train to be steel, our blood must be acid, our skins must be as strong as the bark of a tree, our bones made of Irons. We were groomed not to show emotions , we never cry even if we want to because we are men, crying would portray us as weak.

In the part of the world where I come from, a Man worth is measured by how much money he has, how he can survive on the street, young men leave their fathers house and go to the big city with hope of bringing millions of Dollars to the expecting parent ,society and nation, Those you return home with the goodies are branded 'son of the soil', well as for those who toil for years without nothing are seen as 'useless' and 'not-being-a-man'.

In the part of the world where I come from a man ability to 'Love' or 'be-loved' is measured by how much money and awards he has gotten, by how many comapany he has launched, women from my small part of the world shame the said 'poor and broke men', making it hard seeing a 'poor guy' in a fruitful relationship. The love and value he has and possess in the community is measured by the amount of hospitals he has built, the number of houses he has scattered in the countryside and city.

We can go on and on, I realised this and still making more research, I realised that at an early age , all my friends opportuned to make cool cash and by stuff gets all the attention , praises, admiration and girls, lest not forget the social media that shows success stories of young , rich males, plus the entertainment industry that shows number of music and acting stars who in all cases grabs attention of the press, teenagers, girls, media, they get featured on Tv shows, magazines, we see them and we watch our society paint the 'yet-to-make-money' boys as irrelevant, they paint the 19-year-old who is yet to make six-figure as a failure , we see our girls have crushes on this celebrities that the perphaps will never meet and they would probably have rejected in their 'pre-stardom' and it must and will be because of the same 'money and material status'

Men from this part of the whole are groomed to be the Alpha in the family and society and even in the home ,family. They make the money, keep the house up and running , so that makes them the Alpha , they bear the brunt of the family alone, they cant share, they are not meant to share, and this has led to broken home and more broken 'success-hungry' men. In marriages the women should keep shut, they dont make money, they dont have success , so they keep shut.

The downside to all this due to the pressure and expectation from the society and family has led every male to believe his ability to love or fall in love must come from his 'success-story', it has made men stones to feelings, men dont relate with their kids emotionally because based on the society it is nothing but weakness, it made men all-knowing monsters who dont and cant be adviced or controlled because they believe they must know all as a MALE they are....

The effect continues to go on and on, at 18 every young male dreams is to make money ,get nice car and houses,get super rich and get girls, media, press and the society chanting his name.. to him he is now the MAN..such crazy time we live in.

Men now feel insecure this days when women make the money and bag the big success, they know and feel women should not.

I would have loved to go on and on, but at this junction am happy that as i realised this, i now know what to do with my life, i refuse to let my life be based on money, money, money I cant build my family alone that why i would marry a wife not some baby factory machine.

Men, I pray you don't find your worth in your use or function, I pray you find the outlet that let's you breathe out toxicity that was pumped into your system as a boy, I wish you meet people that value you when you have less or even none, This is what makes you a Man

Men, I pray for a better reality for you and the boys that come after you. I pray you find happiness, not one fuelled by ego of possession but a genuine calmness and peace that comes from being accepted for who you are. I wish you expression, expression of emotions . This is how your life should move.

Men,I pray you scream and laugh loudly, I pray you break the iceblocks that keep your heart cold and only dutiful, I pray you find value in your existence and not your functionality - that no bank account balance will be the foundation of your confidence or worth. Yes you would.

Men, I pray you find love, love that watches you fly and cheers, love that sees value in you as a partner and not a foe. I pray you find rest in the bosom of someone that protects, provides and cares for you just like you care for them.

I have learnt who i am, i picked up the lessons, i shall be a great good man, i shall lead , yes, the lesson is clear

We shall all reign as kings in our kingdoms, not with all the bad energy but with better values....

Happy International Men Day....

Till then when we shall meet at the success tower, keep that light of yours shining, i will need it one day to see 'Road'.

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